The Bizarre Love Octagon of Doom
by mistress-reebi
Summary: The title is selfexplanitory. A satire romance on every pairing possible. Contains one shots, parodies, and other randomness. This chapter: Albel and Fayt in the most romantic story!
1. Aldray

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean

Warning: Contains SATIRE humour, which many might not find humourous. If romance isn't your thing, continue to read, but if cheesy romance is something you enjoy you will not like this story. Sorry lemon/yaoi fans but there won't be any sexual content, why? This story is already messed up as it is.

AN: Yes, all couples will be paired in this story. It will start off in alphabetical order, but first with Albel since no one wants to read Adray romance fanfics and Albel's a slut. Also, when it's Adrey's turn his pairings they would be already used. Oh, one last thing, Peppita and Roger are too young and won't be involved. (Albel, Cliff, Fayt, Maria, Mirage, Nel Sophia, Adray) Have fun with the next chapter Alphia fans! Then it's Nelbel!

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Chapter One: Aldray's Forbidden Love

It was a dark and stormy night, the rains poured, flooding the lands, as lightning randomly flickered in the sky. The thunder roared, but not nearly as loud as the battle cries of the people yelping in pain. Albel stood on his horse, slashing his way through the battlefield. The blood gushed out of these soldiers, and with the darkness it was unsure which were puddles of water and which were blood. He continued to swing his sword across, smiling at the people collapsing unto the muddy ground, but one man still stood. He slashed again, but the man blocked his attack. Lightning illuminated the sky for a second revealing his opponent. He wore a skirt, fanning down towards the ground, as if he were a beautiful peacock. His chest was bare, showing off his muscular, yet saggy, body, which were covered in pretty patterns tattooed to his body. The gray hair blew in a gentle breeze, swaying in the wind as if he were a supermodel. And the wrinkles, man there were millions of wrinkles, which made Albel's heart race with excitement. This man was old enough to be his father, but young enough to make Albel's cheeks turn pink. The man swung his sword, almost dancing like a beautiful ballerina twisting like a swan, hitting Albel. He groaned in pain, but kicked the old man in the dirt, then raised his sword above his head. His body stood there immobile. "Kill this Aquarian, he is the enemy," he thought to himself, but his body couldn't move. The man lifted himself up, dropping his sword. The spontaneously embraced each other, holding each other in their arms, not letting go. Passion filled Albel's heart with the fires of love, burning in his soul. Albel threw his soulmate over his horse, speeding into the horizon, capturing his new love.

"Albel, I love you!" The old man proclaimed, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"I love you too mysterious man whom I just met." Albel added, riding off into the mountains, away from the battle scene. "Let's prove our love on this very night!"

"Of coarse, my love!" the man answered, tightening his grip around Albel's waist. "I've loved you the second I met you, which was one minute ago, but felt like an eternity!"

"Me too, mysterious man!" Albel turned around, wrapping his arms around his new lover. "I want to spend my life with you, my love!"

"Call me Adrey." Adray greeted, while pressing his lips against his.

The kiss felt as if sparks flew, igniting their love, as if their souls were being joined together, fusing their love. Albel knew that their love was so wrong, but felt so right. They were from two different counties at war with each other. Not only were they enemies, Albel had a fiancé named Vox, whom he didn't love. His family betrothed him to this man without his consent. Albel's heart belonged only to Adray, and tonight he would give himself to this random guy. He may not know anything about this man, but his heart felt as if they knew each other from another world, where they were in love.

00000

Albel paced back and forth, as his body felt like an oven, burning his body away. The sweat from his palms made his bouquet slip. When he picked it up he glanced at himself in the mirror. His dress flowed to the ground, poofing at the sides, filled with many layers. It was white, something that didn't reflect him but he kept that a secret. Tears started to flow down his face. He belonged to Vox now, and not the mysterious man he met in battle. It had been a month since they last seen each other, but not seeing this man made Albel's heart rip in half. His soul was being devoured by millions of dragons gnawing at his heart, chewing it slowly, and painfully. Albel knew what to do.

He threw the bouquet behind him, as it hit someone in the face. He ripped the dress off of himself, as it shredded into fragments. He threw on whatever he could find, which was a one-piece teddy bear pajama suit and leaped out of the window, like a ninja. He landed perfectly on a horse, but on the horn of a western saddle, as he grunted in pain. It felt like a dagger chopped his manhood away from him. Sliding properly on the saddle, he stormed away, dashing towards the east.

He reached the Aquarian border as he beckoned his love, "Adray! Adray! Where are you, my love?" An echo was heard, but there was no response. Charging towards the village he called his lovers name louder.

"It's Albel, get him!" A woman shouted, as a crowd of hundreds of people came towards him.

Albel unsheathed his sword, preparing himself for a battle. Slashing his sword, bodies fell unto the ground, lying in a pool of their own blood. More people came, but ended up dying; only one stood. She held in her hands a bow and arrow, aiming it at Albel. Launching it, he placed his mechanical arm above his heart, but it was too late, it went threw him. She fired another one, then another. Albel collapsed unto the ground, groaning.

"Stop it!" A man hollered, shoving the woman to the ground.

"Ad..ray." Albel huffed, coughing up blood, then crawled his way towards him. "I…love…you."

"ALBEL!" Adrey squealed like a damsel in distress, sprinting towards him. "Don't die! Let's run away and start a family! I'm carrying your child!"

"Sorry… but… we… can't… be… to…get…her." Were his last words, as his body thumped unto the ground.

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Albel screamed at the top of his lungs. "My love is away from me!"

"Hey baby, wanna make out?" A man said, seductively with a wink. He wore a black jumpsuit with lemon-caramel hair hair like the sun, as his hair blew in the wind like a night in shinning armour.

"Sure thing!" Adray replied, jumping himself up, gazing at into the man eyes, while Adray's eyes turned to hearts.


	2. Alphia

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean: Till the End of Time, nor do I own _Le Fantôme de l'Opéra_.

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Chapitre deux: Le "Wicked" de l'Opera: L'amour d'Alphia

Fayt entered the baroque doors to the two hundred year old opera house. Marble flooring with a grand staircase were some of the many decorations the foyer had. He waltzed through the doors entering into the vast theatre. A chandelier made out of gold illuminated the entire theatre, dangling down from a chain suspended from the ceiling. On stage there were several female dancers were swaying their bodies in ballet fashion. Standing beside the dancers was a woman looking disgusted with a cigarette resting on her lips.

"You call that dancing?" The woman hollered in a drunken tone while whipping the dancers. "My sober monkey can dance better than you!"

"Uh, hi!" Fayt introduced himself, walking towards the stage, sticking his hand out towards the blond woman with the whip. "I'm the new owner, Fayt Leingod."

"I'm the dancer teacher, Madame Koas, but you can call me Mirage." Mirage greeted, shaking Fayt's hand with a wink. "That's my stripper name, hott stuff!"

A young dancer with brown hair named Sophia huddled towards her friend whispering, "I can't believe it! That's Fayt a friend from childhood."

"Is your friend a chick or a man?" The pink haired girl asked, starring at the new owner.

"It's a man, what makes you think it's a chick?" The brunette asked.

"His name is Fayt and he looks like a lesbian." The girl explained, pointing to the stylish short hair.

"Now that you mention it, he does look like a chick." Sophia answered, starring at Fayt. "But not all lesbians wear men's clothes and short hair, Peppeta."

"When are we doing my scene?" A young man around Fayt's age waltzed in with his arms crossed around his chest, holding a designer bag with a small dog poking out. "La Chiquita has a busy schedule!"

"Hi, I'm the new owner, Fayt Leingod." Fayt greeted, offering his hand, but the man turned his head the other way, ignoring him. "La Chiquita?" Fayt asked, puzzeled. "You must be her manger. How is my prima donna doing?"

"Are you stupid?" The man growled, throwing his shoe at Fayt. "I'm La Chiquita! Because we aren't on stage, you can call me by my male name, Lieber."

"You're prima donna isn't going to do so well." A sinister voice growled in a whispering tone, but it was loud enough to be heard by the entire theatre.

"It's the Wicked!" Some of the dancers cried out, huddling towards each other. "He's near!"

A small envelope fell from above, twirling around, eventually landing in Fayt's hands. A seal with the letters, 'Wicked' held the envelop in place. Breaking the seal to open the envelope, He unfolded in paper and read, "Welcome to my Opera, new owner. Follow my demands and no one will get killed. I want Mademoiselle Esteed to be the lead when this performance starts next week. I also want a million Fol each year and a pretty dress to insinuate my beautiful curves, er I mean for Mademoiselle Esteed."

"Who's this 'Wicked?'" Fayt questioned, stuffing the letter back into the envelope. "How dare he say he owns this place and expects a million Fol each year. Who does he think he is?"

"Mmmm…. The Wicked." Mirage starred into space drooling, and then blinking back into reality. "You better do what he says otherwise he will kill you."

"Where is Mademoiselle Esteed?" Fayt asked, looking around towards the dancers.

"I'm Mademoiselle Esteed." Sophia replied, taking a step away from the crowd. "I know the part and I'm a student to an excellent teacher."

"Sophia." Fayt blurted out in shock. "Is that really you?"

"It's me!"

"SOPHIA!" Fayt called out, frolicking towards her in slow motion as the scene turned into a meadow. "FAYT!" Sophia beckoned, frolicking also in slow motion. When they were close to each other they jumped into each other's arms, but tripped, smacking their foreheads, landing on the stage.

"WHAT," Lieber stated in shock, but his nicely plucked eyebrows twitched in anger, "How she take the lead! If La Chiquita isn't the lead then La Chiquita is out of here!" Lieber pouted as he stomped out of the theatre with his hand sticking out.

000000

"You sang so beautifully, Sophia." Fayt complimented as they walked towards her dressing room. "Who gave you the roses?"

"My teacher." She responded, smelling the sweet fragrance, opening the door. "He always gives me roses. All that singing is making me tired, so see you in the morning."

"Sophia, I have…something to tell you." Fayt stuttered, nervously. "I'm in love with you!"

"I love you too!" Sophia said, cheerfully, throwing the roses behind her. "Let's confess our love, Broadway style!"

Fayt and Sophia pranced around backstage, singing how much they were in love for no apparent reason in a choreographed fashion. At the end of the song, they arrived back at the doorway to the dressing room as if nothing happened, only to finish the song with a kiss. Sophia closed the door while waving goodnight, then turned around giggling like a school girl on crack.

Her smile faded as she turned to the mirror that leaned against the wall. Smoke crept from the mirror as a man skinnier than a stick figure held in his hand a watch, which he swung back and forth, whispering, "You are getting very sleepy."

"I am getting very sleepy." Sophia repeated in a trance.

"Now, follow me!" The man commanded, offering his other hand to her, still swaying the watch. Sophia took his hand, with her eyes still dazed, resembling a stoner. The hand that dangled the watch wasn't a hand of a human; it was made out of metal. Not only was his hand made out of metal, the arm inside his suit hid a mechanical arm, covering something. The man guided her through the mirror and into the sewers in a gondola. They arrived in a lair buried deep in the sewers that was decorated quite lavishly, as if Barbie was the designer.

"Welcome, Mademoiselle Esteed." The man welcomed, helping her off the boat. "Shall we begin the lessons?"

"Where am I?" Sophia asked, taking in the lair. "You're the Wicked, aren't you?"

"I have a name you know." The man answered, guiding her towards a mannequin. "It's Albel. How do you like my life-sized figure of you?"

"That's creepy," she replied, horrified by the doll that looked identical to her, "So you must be my stalker?"

"It's not stalking, it's just watching you twenty-four seven." He defended, playing with her hair, then placing an arm around her waist. "I'm in love with you. There isn't a second when I don't think of you! I've even carved your name on my chest."

"Oh, I thought you know… you were…ummm." Sophia mumbled, rolling her eyes.

"I'm?"

"You know…. One who drives on the 'other side' of the road." She finished, looking around the flamboyantly decorated room. "I mean look at his place."

"Hey, just because I ran over fifty old ladies that day and smashed the carriage into ten streetlamps, does not mean I'm a bad driver!" Albel answered, oblivious to what Sophia was trying to say. "It took me years trying to decide if the colour scheme should match your eyes or hair!"

"No, that's not what I mean." Sophia said, calmly. "You're a great designer. Forget about what I just said."

"You're in love with that new owner, aren't you?!" Albel hissed, drawing her closer to him using the hand around her waist. He placed his human fingers on her cheek and starred deep into her turquoise eyes, with anger in his. "Forget about him, you're mine."

"Why do you kill people and hide out in the sewers?" She questioned, cautiously. "Why are you so obsessed with me?"

He let go of his grip around her, taking a few steps back. Taking off his jacket, he rolled his left sleeve up to reveal a mechanical arm, explaining, "This is why. My arm is so deformed that when people see it they call me a monster and some try to kill me."

"That's sad, you're arm doesn't look that bad." Sophia spoke, sympathetically, placing a hand to the mechanical arm. "Can I have a look?"

"NO!" He growled, snapping his arm away from her. "You must never see the hideousness of this arm! Those bastards deserve to die! I'll burn the opera to the ground with all of them, except for you, inside! I can't wait to hear their screams of pain."

"I think I need to go back to wash my hair." She added, with her eyes wide in shock, trying to slip back into the gondola.

"NO!" Albel screamed again, grabbing her arm. "I'm in the mood for knitting tea cozies! You're knitting with me!"

000000

Sophia waited backstage, walking back and forth with a sheet of paper, doing some last minute cramming. A scream was heard from above, causing her to jolt her head upwards. A muscular man fell tens of metres away from her. Instead of falling on the floor a rope hung from his neck, strangling him. Blood gushed from his chest in the shape of a "W", marking whom the murderer is. The entire backstage squealed in fear, running away from the dead man. Another envelope flew from the sky, as Fayt caught this one, ripping it open.

"I killed Monsieur Fitter because I didn't like his face." Fayt read the letter out loud. "I also killed the lead male in this production, Monsieur R.S. Huxley. His body is in your office, Monsieur Leingod. Since the curtain will open in five minutes, I will be playing the lead male. The Wicked."

"I'm scared!" Sophia sobbed, wrapping her arms around Fayt. "What are we going to do?"

"We'll play his game," Fayt snapped, with venom, "But, we'll have the police in the audience and they'll shoot him."

"Don't shoot him!" She cried out, letting go of Fayt. "He's a good person deep down. We were the ones who created this monster."

"Sophia," Fayt sighed, and paused for a moment. "Never mind, the curtain is up. Be careful."

She nodded, handing her lyrics to Fayt, then skipped towards the stage. Albel was already on the stage, standing there with a smile on his face. His mechanical arm hid under the left sleeve, but the hand was visible. He pulled out a pocket watch from his pocket, then lifted it up towards eye level and swung it, putting her in some sort of trance.

"Who do you choose, Leingod or me?" He asked, still swinging that pocket watch.

"I choose you." Sophia spoke in a monotone, like a robot.

"Cheap trick!" Fayt yelled, chucking random props at the pocket watch. Albel unsheathed his sword, slicing the props with one hand, using the other to hypnotize Sophia.

"Don't worry Fayt, this doesn't actually work." Sophia added, moving her eyes in sync with the watch. "Even a two year old knows that."

Albel growled, shoving the watch back into his pocket, and snatched her hand. A poof of smoke appeared, concealing Albel and Sophia. Using the sword to slice through ropes, they fell under the stage, disappearing when the smoke cleared.

"You chose me, therefore you will be my bride!" Albel hissed, running towards a stairwell that descended towards the sewers. "We'll run away together to paradise, the sewers of London! They are much more cleaner than the sewers here in Paris."

"Uh… Yay!" Sophia cheered, sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Why don't we live somewhere else besides the sewers? After all, we are leaving Paris and no one will find us."

"How about the catacombs to some rich family!" He suggested, as they reached the gondola. She sighed in disgust, shaking her head.

"How dare you take my Sophia away from me?" Fayt hollered, holding a pitchfork in his hands. "Sophia doesn't want to spend her live with a psycho like you!"

"Fayt, you are a very kind person and a great lover, but…" Sophia turned around to explain, "you cry during sex. Albel may be psychotic, but it's kinky in the bedroom. Also, you're a moron! It took you how many years to clue in that I liked you?"

"Shut up and die, fool. You've just been dumped!" Albel snickered, drawing his sword.

Before Fayt could attack with his pitchfork a small dog hit Fayt in the head, causing him to pass out. Lieber stood behind him, frolicking towards Albel, shouting, "I'm in love with you, The Wicked!"

"Oh, so you drive on 'both sides' of the road!" Sophia thought to herself out loud.

When Lieber leaped into Albel's arms a whip went around his neck straining him back. A young woman, slightly older than Sophia, with blue hair dragged Lieber back towards the opera saying, "You're coming home with me!"

"There you are!" Mirage grunted, sprinting towards Albel. His eyes were in shock, as he pushed Sophia into the boat, and paddled as quickly as he could. Mirage stood at the edge, shaking her fists in the air, yelling, "You deadbeat father, you owe me fourteen years of child support payments! Where do you think you're going? Come back here!"

La Fin

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Albel is The Phantom

Sophia is Christine

Fayt is Raoul

Mirage is Mmm. Giry

Lieber is La Carlotta

Pepetta is Meg

(**Albel**, Cliff, Fayt, Maria, Mirage, Nel Sophia, Adrey) I'm kinda pumped because I'm going to go see this musical on Tuesday! Nelbel fans rejoice, for the next chapter is about them. This chapter isn't nearly, actually far from, as cheesy as the previous; then again it's Aldrey! How can one be serious by writing about Aldrey!

Thank you Dragon Chyld for spotting the typo.


	3. NelBel

**AN: Chapter 3 Finished!  
**

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In the land of Aquaria, there was a maiden with bright red hair that could blind anyone. In the land north west of Aquaria, there was a man who also had a fetish for hair dye. This is their love story.

**Chapter 3: The Quest for the Sacred Hair Dye: Nelbel  
**

"On You Marks, Get Set, Go!" The man announced, firing his pistol in the air, as a loud bang was heard all over Elicoor II. Nel took off! She leaped as far as she could, racing as fast as the wind. Her hops her long and swift, which made her gain a lead over the rest of the racers. Within seconds, she made it to the finish line, beating her opponents. Nel was the best potatoe sac racer in all of Aquaria.

Every day she would practice for hours, hopping in her sac like a bunny rabbit. There wasn't a day where she didn't practice. But potatoe sac racing wasn't her passion; it was hair dye. Nel has a hobby, more like an addiction, that only a few people on Elicoor II had. It was dying her hair. Each Saturday, after she finished practicing for the upcoming potatoe sac race, she would go to the local salon and have her hair dyed the same "number 357: bleeding scarlet" hair dye. Of course, her hair was pretty much fried from dying it each week, but she couldn't help it. Number 357: bleeding scarlet faded easily. On top of fading easily, it was expensive. Each tip cost her seven hundred and fifty Fol, which drained her money. So, she began to compete in potatoe sac racings to make extra money on the side.

On the other side of the border, there was a man who also had an unhealthy addiction to hair dye named Albel. He used to get his entire head covered in "number 123: sunshine in a bottle" but for a year he couldn't afford the hefty price. His roots grew making his hair horrible. He would cry himself to sleep because his precious hair wasn't perfect. Cutting his hair to save money was something he was tempted to do, but his hair was too sacred. Fortunately, when they grew to about shoulder length, it was the latest style. Because he liked his new hair do, he went into the pototoe sac racing business that way his beautiful blonde locks would stay the same.

"Congrats, Nel!" her friend Claire cheered in the stands. "You're on to the finals!"

"Thanks," she nodded, lifting her body out of the potatoe sac.

"So, this is my competition, bah!" A deep voice growled behind her.

Nel turned around; her eyes widened in shock and blurted out a "crap." She then gave a little smirk, teasing, "It's an honour to race the best potatoe sac racer in Airyglyph. However, that two thousand fol is mine!"

"No, it's mine!" Albel hissed, giving her a glare. "I need that money more than you!"

"Number 357: bleeding scarlet fades easily!" Nel complained, slapping him across the cheek. "That hair dye money is mine!"

"My hairstyle is too fabulous to change!" Albel pouted while he yanked chunks of her precious hair.

Nel screamed for a moment, but swung her purse at him with all of her strength. Albel let go of her hair but let out a roar with his human hand out, readying to claw her.

"Would the finalists please make their way towards the start line."

"This cat fight is over." Nel spoke, coldly while placing her hands on her hips. "I won't lose to you!"

The both of them marched towards the starting line and crawled into their potatoe sacs, still glaring at each other. They both bent their knees a smidge to prepare themselves for the first hop. Nel dug her nails into the sac, clawing at it as her heart pounded heavily against her chest. The announcer held the gun in the air, and gently placed his index finger on the trigger, yelling, "On your marks. Get set...GO!" They were off. They leaped in unison as if they had choreographed their race in perfect precision. They may have been at opposite ends, but their movements were exactly the same. By the time they reached the finish line, they were neck to neck. Their times were exact; it was a tie.

"This can't be!" Nel growled, throwing her sac on the ground to release all of her anger. "Let's have a re-match!"

"The one who timed me was a second too late!" Albel hissed, and chucked his sac away from him. "I clearly won! Besides, my hair is sexier than yours!"

"No, it's a tie," the announcer pointed out, "both of you can split the prize money."

"No," Nel spoke in monotone, while crossing her arms, "the next race isn't in two weeks and one thousand fol will only last me a little over a week."

"Sorry, but we don't have the time and money to fix this problem."

"The sacred hair dye will solve your problems." An old man's voice spoke, slowly into the wind.

"Sacred hair dye?" Nel asked, as she turned herself around, only to have found nothing. "I thought I heard someone say something."

"Listening to the voices in your head, eh?" Albel laughed. "I need that prize money!"

A scroll blew in the wind landing perfectly in Albel's right hand. His hair too blew gently in the wind as if he had been Fabio, as there was a holy glow around him. His shirt was off, revealing a muscular body that was pure testosterone. He flicked his hair back using his head. If he had slanted bangs one would mistake his hair flick as an emo kid, but it was a Fabio hair flick. Nel's expression on her face changed as hearts magically appeared in her eyes.

"What are you looking at, maggot?" Albel hissed, as the wind stopped and he was wearing his gay belly shirt in his slim frame. "I'm off to Duggas Forest!"

"Go back!"

"What?"

"Change back into that Fabio guy!" Nel demanded, placing her hands on his gay belly shirt, shaking him.

"What?"

"You know, with a holy glow around you and hair blowing in the wind."

"You Aquarian's need to stop smoking crack."

"Well," Nel barked, letting go of his skin-tight shirt that Britney Spears would have worn in the late nineties, and looked at him straight into his eyes. "If you're going I'm going to!"

"No, I told you my hair is sexier than yours!"

"You claim you're straight!" Nel smirked as Albel's eyes twitched in an anime fashion. "Turn back into Fabio!"

"Just because I wear a skirt doesn't mean I'm gay!" Albel defended himself as crossed his arms, and stuck out his hip in a feminine fashion. "It matches my thigh-high panty hoes." He added, but a second later his eyes widened in shock. "I need to stop accessorising my wardrobe!"

"I have an offer." Nel suggested with a grin. "I'll change your gay wardrobe if I come with you to find the sacred hair dye!"

"How did you know about this scroll?" Albel blurted out in shock, stuffing it in his belly shirt as if a girl would stuff something precious in her bra. "I mean, this has nothing to do with sacred hair dye."

"Do I have to tell everyone that you belly dance?"

"Fine," Albel agreed as he rolled his eyes in a sigh.

00000000

_Deep into the Duggest Forest there lies the Sacred Hair Dye Master who will grant three wishes on how you wish to style your hair. Your hair can never be fried, nor will it fade. Roots will never appear if you lather your hair in the holiness in the divine vessel of hair dye. Figure out this riddle to find to location of the hair dye master._

_I am alive, although one might think I am steadfast_

_I stand beside the most pure element_

_Air is my foe as well as another_

_I also wear a tutu._

"That isn't a riddle!" Nel argued as she snatched the scroll from Albel's hands. "Maybe we can ask the Sacred Hair Dye Master if you can turn into Fabio."

"For the last time I'm not Fabio!" Albel growled as another holy glow appeared and his shirt ripped to show off his manly muscles.

"You're doing it!" She informed as drool dripped from her mouth and her hands were held near her heart.

"What?" He blurted out and looked around his body, but the gay shirt was still on him and his body was skinner than Twiggy.

"Well, it happened." She spoke, coldly as she looked the other way. She glanced back at him. His face looked like a dog eyeing some food. "What are you looking at?"

A holy glow surrounded her as her hair grew towards her waist, blowing in the gentle breeze.

"You look like Pamela Anderson!" He mumbled. "Only with red hair."

Nel marched up to him, raising her hand and smacking him across the cheek with it. Glaring at him, she grabbed his ear and hissed: "Let's find this hair dye!"

She dragged him into the deeps of the Duggas Forest, still holding unto his ear, and traveled, on purpose, across the jagged rocks.

"Do you know where you are going?" He growled, freeing himself. "I know where I'm going!"

"Then where do you go?"

"This way!" He pointed towards the south. Several hours later they arrived in the Mosel Dunes.

"You men are horrible with directions!" Nel barked as she pulled out the scroll. "I am alive although I am steadfast. A Venus fly trap?"

"A tree!"

"There we go!" Nel congratulated as she read the next line, "I stand beside the purest element." She paused for a moment. "Water! I remember there was spring water that only fairies could drink out of. Maybe that's where it is."

Using Nel's directions, they arrived at the location within fifteen minutes. A tree stood beside the pond where the spring water rested.

"Sacred Hair Dye Master?" She asked, patting the tree on the shoulder. It didn't budge.

"Is there a secret code we have to say?"

She looked down on the scroll revealing the message, "When you find me, you must polka dance and I will grant you wishes."

Nel and Albel polka danced with the accordion in their hands for a few minutes. Eyes appeared on the tree as the lines on the truck turned into a mouth.

"I will grant you three wishes on your hair!"

"I wish that my hair will stay in this style forever!" Albel shouted out. Magical sparkles surrounded his hair as he let out a squeal of glee.

"I wish too that my hair will stay number 357: Bleeding Scarlet forever." Nel spoke, as the magical dust also sprinkled around her hair.

"What should we wish for next?"

"That Albel will turn into that Fabio guy!" Nel screamed out, quickly. He growled like a dog, pouncing at her, yelling, "You moron, you wasted our last wish. We could have asked for world peace or something!"

"I do no grant those kind of wishes." The tree informed. "But I will make you live happily ever after, you two love birds!"

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Poof! They ended up living in the country with many children and lived happily ever after. 

**The End!**_  
_

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**AN: **(**Albel**, Cliff, Fayt, Maria, Mirage, Nel, Sophia, Adrey) **Contest!** The person who writes how many chapters this story will take to include all pairings (not including Peppita and Roger) once gets a prize! See my profile for details!I don't think Albel and Nel make a great couple because they are both too stubborn and will fight over nothing; their personalities are way too similar. But it's on every pairing possible and I have to do all the pairings I dislike. Seriously, I think Albel is better off with Claire.


	4. Alrage

A savage wins the lady's heart. After all, who wants to prince when you can have an animal. Rawrrr!

**Chapter 4: The Tempest: Star Ocean Edition: with Mirbel!:And cookies: And a lot of Colons: Eww sickos: not that kind!**

Young Mirage was frolicking down the marry path with a basket of freshly pick sunflowers. The wind gentle giving her a cool embrace. Her hair matching the golden pedals of the flowers. Her lips the colour of roses. Her eyes the colour of the ocean after a storm. Anyways, enough description now unto the story.

Albel was watching this dame bounce in rhythm to the swaying trees. That was his favourite past-time. He occasionally would approach her whenever her father summoned him, but did not know what to say. This language they taught him was sure funny. Half of the words meant interesting sex positions in his tongue. His mother taught him all before she was eaten by a wolf. No wolves on the island but one magically popped up when she was using runology to make toast. Anyways, onto the story.

"Woman!" He screamed as he leapt in front of her. It was as if he were a wildcat pouncing on his prey.

She let out a small scream but turned that fear into adrenaline. Her hands clawed unto his shoulders, digging into his flesh, as her knee jolted towards his... well. He let out a cry a baby could not compete.

"What the hell, Albel!"

"Make mini Albels with me, maggot!" He insisted, which caused her to throw her fist at his stomach. "Never Mind!" His voice so high she couldn't hear.

"What on Klaus is going on!" A deep voice spoke.

"Daddy!" She sang. Her body turned around so quickly, the basket flew out of her arms and landing on top of Albel's head. This caused him to collapse to the earth. The flowers dancing towards the ground, landing beside him. "Why are we speaking in exclamation marks?"

"I don't know," Mr. Koas answered. "Where you trying to touch my daughter, savage?"

Albel's face was squished on the ground while his body was immobile. His arms and legs spread out, as if he'd been run over by a bus.

"I'm trying to talk to you, slave!" Mr. Koas growled. His foot poking him to see if he would say something.

"I think he's dead." She said in an observing tone.

"He would be if he laid a finger on you." He barked. "You must be pure into you marry, child."

She rolled her eyes and planted a foot slated away from him. Her fists crossed against her chest.

"Don't you give me that! I am your father what I say goes!" He went on. "You must marry a Prince of another dojo."

She let out a sigh, getting rid of the tension from the pit of her belly. "I don't want to marry him."

A soft whimper was heard behind her. She jumped and twisted her body around. Cliff was standing with crimson tights showing his muscular physique. He wore a matching cape with a crown on his head that looked like he got it from Burger king. His hair blowing in the breeze.

"Who the hell are you?" She let out, instinctively.

"I love you, Mirage!" He pleaded as he opened his arms and frolicked towards her. Her hand slapped him across the cheek, leaving a handprint.

"You just met me!"

"I know, but I've been with so many woman and you are the one!" He spoke, charismatically. His teeth sparkled as he smiled.

She rolled her eyes as she exhaled. "What's with Shakespeare and showing lust at first sight? For meaning but geeze." Her hands clutched unto her hips as she looked towards the two men. "I could drool in my sleep, or have creepy habits and you think by looking at a woman she is the one?"

"You are the one for him, daughter!" Her father roared, like a lion. "You are the heiress to my dojo and must marry another heir to another dojo."

Her hands shook away from her hips into mid air. Her fingers curled into fists. "You lost your stupid dojo because you were too busy reading romance novels. Your brother took over and now you want it back!"

"That was a secret!"

"Everyone knew!"

Albel wiggled his head from the ground and lifted it to speak, "Even I knew, worm." Mirage snapped her head to Albel and back at Mr. Koas then back at Albel. Back at Mr. Koas and back at Albel. Back at.. ya I'm done. She looked at the poor soul with dirt sprinkled all over his face. His eyes the colour of blood. The blood he would shed for her. His clothes, handmedowns of her fathers were bathed in grass stains. (His mother did not believe in pants.) Mirage picked up her sunflowers and marched towards him.

"Where do you think you're going, child?" Mr. Koas shouted, snatching the inside of her elbow.

"Don't call me, that!" She snarled, yanking her arm away from him. Her face was as red as her lips. Her eyes were fixed on him with a gaze as strong as Medusa's. He took a step back as his lungs inhaled the air. The four all stared at each other. The only sound was crickets chirping.

"So," Cliff broke the awkwardness. "I guess that means we leave?"

The crickets got louder.

"I have to admit something," Cliff added, "I think it was your father who was the one."

000000

Mr. Koas and Cliff left the island while Mirage and Albel populated it with 2935676546465456 children.

"I told you worm we'd make mini Albels!"

Mr. Koas and Cliff populated their own island and read romance novels together. Everyone lives happy ever after. Until they all die from a mystery wolf eating them. They made up with each other in the after life.

**The End!**

**AN: **(**Albel**, Cliff, Fayt, Maria, Mirage, Nel, Sophia, Adrey) Haven't written in awhile. Been studying The Tempest if you haven't noticed. School is draining...


	5. Marbel

AN: Thanks guys for checking out my fanfic. It's been awhile but still glad to know people are still reading it. (Good old traffic device.) Thank you Dragon Chyld and TamaChanMyu for the review :) Feel free to comment. They make my day :) Been playing a lot of SO4 so I figured I'd set this story in Lemuris. This isn't as satire but it's still awesome. Btw, I like Lymle but I don't think Albel would.

**Chapter 5: Marbel**

They call it a plague, but this is far graver; I call it a curse. A curse that rob you of your soul. It will come at night and snatch you like it was a rapist. It will murder your firstborn child and dance on your grave and party as if it were 1999. Not sure why 1999 was the year to party. Too much bad music on the radio.

"Albel," a holler was heard in the distance. I jumped. The quill in my hand dropped with its ink oozing unto my beloved memoirs. I could have swore than voice gave me a heart attack. I think I rather die from this disease than from her demands.

"What is it?" I replied, with no enthusiasm. A zombie would have given more of a response.

A slender figure barged into my study, ripping the door with her stomps. Ironic since she weights the same as a small child. The knob banged the wall, making a dent in the wood. I popped out of my chair, as if I were a jack-in-a-box.

"You know, it's like a desert outside." I growled, sarcastically. "Holes in the wall will make this place so much warmer."

She did not respond. She gave up trying to reason with me. Over the years, she learned to pick her battles. Or so I thought when she said, "You need to find a wife."

My mouth dropped on the ground as if I were a cartoon. Could have sworn there was dirt in my teeth. I blinked my eyes to see if this were a dream but it was real. Of course, conversations with my mother were always real. At least in a dream I could make her jump off a cliff. There is one not too far from the town. This plague wouldn't kill her fast enough.

"This disease has gotten to the town leader." She reasoned. "His poor granddaughter."

_Poor granddaughter?_ I thought to myself. _You mean that brat who drew on my face when I fell asleep on the park bench? I will not forget that day. If anything she started this plague. Worm!_

"Now, I found someone who might marry you." She mentioned.

I rolled my eyes as if they were a marry-go-round. The weight of my body fell unto the chair. With what ever strength I had left, I pulled my arms to swing the chair around to face her. My eyes glaring at her, as if I died. Actually, dying wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be. No nagging mother. But I would never learn what the best solutions is to make mirrors sparkle. I have to make sure I look even more handsome when I look at myself. I don't understand why I cannot get a wife. I mean look at me: I'm damn sexy. Those piercing eyes that are demonic and scream, "bad boy". Or my sleek hair that feels as soft as a baby's bottom. Whenever I look at a woman she screams so loudly it will cause an avalanche. We don't even get snow around here but I'm sure that scream will wipe out this town. Hey, that's actually not a bad idea. Some say that bratty child put a curse on me and I believe it. I mean how can someone with such good looks be single?

"Albel," a voice echos in my mind. "Albel!" It screeches reality back at me.

"What?"

"She's coming over for dinner so put on some pants!"

I give a grunt, and spin back towards my desk. I muddle under my breath, "I like my dress."

0000000

I thrusted my frustration using this axe. I attack with no remorse. The adrenaline deep within releases at my fingertips. The wood snaps in half, creating a thud, while the pieces fall away from each other on opposites sides.

"Stupid cold world." I complain as I put another wooden block on the stump. "Sad thing this village is the Tahiti of this planet."

Waving my arms down, the blade strikes the timber creating a clamour. I hear it bouncing off the trees and house. I turn my head over to my right. Strangely, its louder than the original noise. A beam of light from the orange sky blinds my beautiful eyes. I place my hand above my eyes to shield from it but the rays seep through. It descends unto the horizon and flickers off.

"Man," I thought to myself, "I am going loony."

My shoulders shrug as I go back to my dreadful work. Before I can raise the axe over my gorgeous hair, worm decides to show up to annoy me. Her big eyes the size of baseballs stare at me with her emotionless face. She looks like a doll but I remember chopping their heads off as a child.

"Whatcha doing there, Bellie?" That rascal asks while my upper torso shivers. My body is like jello wiggling.

"Stop calling me Bellie!" I roar. "You have a lot of nerve upsetting me while I have an axe in my hands, maggot!"

"Put your weapon down." An unfamiliar voice demands. "She's just a child!"

I tighten my grip on the tool. How dare this person tell me what to do. And calling that brat a child? Humph, she's practically an adult as she just ages well. Must get her formula.

"What the hell are you talking about!" I growled as I turn my body to face this stranger.

She was wearing an outfit foreign to me. Even the unfashionable folk of Woodley wouldn't wear her attire. In her hands was a bizarre stick with a hole at the front, pointing towards me. I can image it was some kind of weapon. Could be this person was delusional. Makes sense since she is defending this worm. Though I could not be mad at her. Her eyes the colour of twilight. Her hair, matching her eyes but with a lighter hue. Her lips, red the colour of my pretty eyes. I don't remember much of what happened next but we both let go of everything and embraced each other. Our lips met for a passionate kiss while we let into our desires. Turns out this planet isn't as cold anymore. Our souls met and let lust and infatuation take control.

A cough was heard, followed by a sharp pain in my back; it didn't hurt much for my love was stronger. I moved my head away from this strange woman, wanting to turn my eyes around to behind me. However, she wouldn't let me end our drive. She used my pulling away as an act of submissiveness.

"I'm leaving, kay?" Lymle snarled as she stormed out.

Serves her right for throwing a rock at me. Whatever I'm making out with a hot chick!

0000000

Our bodies lay unto the cool surface of the grass next to each other. My gaze towards the indigo taking over the red shades of the sky. The stars popping up and the moon sets.

"I'm Maria, by the way." She introduced herself.

I give a smirk as I moved my head so I could look at her. Our eyes locked while we smiled at each other. Neither one of us could smile so it was like a half grin thing. My mouth opened to speak but the words coming from my mouth were not mine.

"Albel, our guest cancelled!" My mother hollered from the house. "Has the plague. Where on earth did you go?"

I heard crunches to the earth as the sound grew louder. I darted my head the other way. My mother was hovering over us, like a hawk catching its prey. I was expecting a displeased look but the sides of her lips were nearing her forehead.

"Uh.."my mouth spoke on its own. "Maria, this is my mother."

"Great, when are the grandkids going to come?" My mother blurted out as she leapt with glee. "With this plague you should have twelve to ensure some survive."

A tinkling feel fluttered my cheeks as I raised my body from the ground to look straight ahead of me. My head could not move to confront either my mother or Maria. If i turned to my mother she would give an embarrassing story like the time I borrowed her lipstick and had it all over my cheeks and up my nose. I couldn't look at Maria then she would be expecting me to want to have twelve rugrats running around. This dead space was good enough for me.

"Precisely, why I'm here." Maria mentioned.

The grass rustled as her feet scraped the soil, also lifting herself from the ground. My heart-rate started to stable so I slide to face her. An eyebrow raised up while my mind became attentive.

"There is a large amount of energy coming from the mountains that I'd like to examine."

My index finger placed itself on my chin as my mind started to grasp this concept. _Am I dating a crazy?_ I thought to myself. _Or maybe this is a divine being trying to save my stupid town. If the second then I should tell her I'd call her but don't call her. If the first then I think this is true love_.

"Well," My mother muddled under her breath. "I think I'll get dinner ready."

Her footsteps were quick, as she exited giggling to herself. My eyes rolled for a moment then ogled towards my new girlfriend. She leaned in closer to me and whispered, "I hope we never have kids." My heart raced as my lips did smile. I finally experienced the joy my mother had. I swung my arms around her and we made more love.

00000

The wind charged towards us with icicles stabbing my cheeks. My beautiful face is going to be ruined. My hair whips through the storm, tangling together. _I had to go on this journey._ I thought to myself. Was starting to think the pathetic town is better. However, seeing her in front of me battling monsters made this worth it. Gazing at her slightly curving body, I paused for a moment to check her out.

"Don't stop, kay?" That maggot snapped. Her stubby legs barging passed me, blocking my wonderful view. Her grandfather insisted she tag along to fight the source of the plague. He probably got sick of her and didn't care if she got eaten by a bear. Probably didn't have the plague, just made it up so he could fake his death.

Maria and Lymle halted, nearly causing me to trip over the spoiled brat. Men stood with scales over their bodies, resembling lizards armed with pitchforks. A multitude of them were huddle over a fire. What caught my attention most was a shinny gem three metres tall behind them. Maria pulled out a box that made weird sounds from her pocket. Her arm pointing at the jewel.

"As you guess, that is what's causing the plague in your town." She noted, as she put the box away and unsheathed her weapon.

"Get'em, wes gotta intruder." One of the Lizardmen spoke, with a hick accent. "We no like folk on our property."

They stampeded towards us with their pitchforks above their heads. The most bizarre moment was when banjo music popped out of nowhere, perfect for chasing us. Maria fired at the men, causing them to go down one by one. I prefer to kill using my bare hands but these men looked diseased so I gripped my sword, yanking it out and sprinted towards the crowd. I slashed my sword from side to side, parting the mob and heading for the stone. I could care less how many people in my town died, wouldn't mind them all to die, but this seemed important for Maria. The sea of men slowly became less dense and I was able to see the gem. I firmly squeezed the katana, making a fist, and shove that mother into the stone. My jaw dropped when it didn't cause a scratch. I swung at but nothing happened. So, I kicked it, punched it, and slapped it but nothing happened. I even read it a bedtime story but it wouldn't budge.

"Albel are you alright?" Maria questioned. It was faint due to the amount of opponents. Instead of being a failure, I slashed the outside of the army working my way in. If she asked, I couldn't find the gigantic gem right in front of us. Gradually, our enemies were tossed unto the ground and given an eternal nightmare. We were the only ones standing. Maria was the first to react and took a shot at the gem. Her mysterious weapon did the same. I was relieved to know I wasn't incompetent yet frustrated. She launched more blasts but none succeed. Her arms even threw the weapon at it, but nothing happen. Maria couldn't speak. Her feet kicked the snow on the ground. I shuffled towards her, sheathing my sword. Comforting was something I was unfamiliar with so I said this to lighten her mood, "Guess the town isn't curable." Her eyes were more demonic than mine as she stare at my with death. Instead, I went with my instinct.

"You can mope around or do something."

Her face softened, while her lips gave a slight smirk. She studied the gem with her furious eyes, trying to put the piece to the puzzle. "If weapons or melee attacks can't do anything, then maybe magic?"

Lymle immediately waved her wand around as if she were a painter painting a picture. Her lips chanted in unison to her movement. "Come on doggie!" She screamed.

A beast with fire around its body leapt into this world from thin air and dove towards the gem. Flames erupted shattering the crystal. Shards sprinkled towards the ground like snow then disappeared. Maria did smile, then thanked me.

Lymle won my respect and we decided to make peace. We decided to stay five metres away from each other. The town was saved and I was the only one who was miserable everyone lived.

"Would you like to come with me to my world?" Maria asked me.

I replied, "Do you have to ask?"

******(Albel**, Cliff, Fayt, Maria, Mirage, Nel, Sophia, Adrey**)**


	6. Faybel

Star Ocean: West vs East Coast Gangsa Rap Battle of da Century! Romeo and Juliet style! (Or West side stories, but more Romeo and Juliet)

1994: Bronx, NY (Alternate Universe in 4D)

Three men were slouching over on the couch at the curb of the shady road. Their backs bobbled to the beat. The middle one, their leader, was wearing a purple bandana that look like it was about to pop out because his brown hair was bigger than his head. His hands moved from side to side while his buddy was giving him slow beats from his mouth.

"I'm da baddest gangsta dude who rock dis hood. Bitches and hos surround me, as they should. You little west coast come and disturb my ghetto. Well, here's a mento, yo stupid car looks like a rento. "

Across from them on the road was a possy sitting in a stolen Ford Mustang with a California plate. Their heads all wrapped in teal bandana's, matching the driver's hair. This was the West Coast Crew, gawking at the East Coast Homies. The two were rivals ever since rap music was born. The original fight was someone stole dem beats but really, it was because the West Coast envied the pretty hair of the East Coast. California had wacked up weather; while, the East Coast had a temperate climate, which was perfect for hair. However, thugs avoided the reason because it's not as manly. Meanwhile, the East Coast was jealous of the sunny weather of the West Coast. They didn't like how pale they were in comparison to the sun kissed rivals. Again, not so manly. Roger wouldn't approve.

"You think you're the shit, Lord Knox-yo Ass. Well, that name is something my ho would pick out for herself!"

The gangstas in the car laughed, especially the driver.

"At least we can afford to fly to the other coast. We don't need a piece of scrap mental towing us around" The left couch sitter snapped, causing the others to go "ooooo".

The West coast didn't like that. The guy sitting in the back pulled out a hand gun. Before he couldn't do anything, Lord Knox-yo Ass pulled out his bazooka from behind him, "You go back to L.A.. Your bitches are so lonely I banged them last night."

The driver jerked out of his seat and stood up, instantaneously. "We ain't goin nowhere!"

"According to grammar, you are going somewhere." Lord Knox-yo Ass, smirked.

"You don't talk about her like that!" The drivers face turned red, like the colour of the Stang. His hand was clutching the gun in his pocket. No one messes with his high school sweetheart who was the most important person to him in his life. He maybe her pimp but he gets all the loving: he's her only client.

"Who, yo momma?" The one of the right, retaliated.

BANG. The loud shot echoed throughout the streets. The innocent children playing hopscotched scattered into their homes like ants. Their moms drawing the blinds shut in a routine fashion. This was life in da hood: people get shot in broad daylight at least once a day. Sadly, the neighourhood got used to the fear.

The driver planted his bottom on the seat and slammed all of his weight into the gas. The buddy in the back had half his body; the other half was blown to smithereens. His waist collapsed and was bleeding unto the G-Ride. Lord Knox-yo Ass posed like an action star as the smoke seeped from his bazooka. His hair blew gentle in slow motion.

"I told ya I'm the baddest gangsta dude who rock dis hood!"

0000

Lord Knox-yo Ass stood outside his balcony to his apartment, equipped with a lot of barbed wire for security. He was break dancing while he hummed a tune.

"Driver, oh, Driver. Where are you dude? Yo hair is so smexy I'd like to lick it like food! I'm an East Coast rappa and you from the West Coast Crew. But we all musicians and no matter da name a boo is a boo."

All of a sudden a voice came from the alleyway. "I'm here!"This prompted Lord Knox-yo Ass to grab his bazooka and start darting around. The blue haired boy came from the side of the building and into the light. He placed a hand to his bandana and took it off. The brunette tossed his massive gun out unto the streets.

"My love!" Lord Knox-Yo Ass exclaimed. His eyes widened like a kid in the candy store. He thought he would never see that kid again. The two were so feminine looking they were bound to get shot someday. He then realised he was out of his home, in public, and had to protect his turf. Two gangsta dudes cannot be together; thus, cannot show his love. He took a step back and lowered his eyes. "I mean... you."

"I love you Lord Knox-yo-Ass the second I turned the corner and saw you on that couch." He proclaimed as he climbed step by step up the fire escape. Lord Knox-yo-Ass pulled out a knife and started to cut the Barbed wire to let him in.

"I don't even know you, or yo name but I'd die for you!" Lord Knox-yo Ass explained as he helped his "lover" unto the balcony.

"It's Meet yo Fate but you can call me honey bun!" Meet yo Fate answered. He put his arms around Lord Knox-yo-Ass in an embrace. He didn't want to let go. He felt like he never felt this feeling before but in reality every time he sees a crush he goes head over heals. It's called a crush for a reason so when that dies he forgets that nice feeling. "Let's get married!"

"Um... we're dudes." The brunette sighed. However, a light bulb went off in his head. "Let's run away to Canada!" The brunette suggested with glee. "They are about to legalise it in ten years anyways."

"I'm sure we'll be broken up by then." The bluette pointed out. "We are young morons who don't know what the difference between love and lust is."

"True," the brunette nodded, "But for the purpose of this story, we will do stupid things, like kill ourselves because we think we are in love."

"That is right kids," Meet yo Fate turned towards the readers. "Do not commit suicide over a lover. You will end up in a dumb romance story that will be remembered for centuries."

And so the two of them decided to go out for a date and get to know each other before proclaiming their love. Their gangs did not like the idea of two guys going out, especially from feuding hip-hop groups. However, Lord Knox-yo-Ass used his power as a leader and he told them a valuable lesson: to love your enemy. Everyone got teared up and came out that they were envious of one another. It didn't matter if it wasn't manly because real men cry about their bros and self esteem issues aren't just for women. The East and West coast rivalry ended when they came to terms with their feelings.

AN: Thank you all for the reviews (also for my other stories). They really make my day :) I am so not gangster and I can't rap. Sorry for this misspelt words but it went with the story. Also, in the 90s they liked the word "da". Made it a alternate universe so no hoodlums will go after me. Thanks to Urban dictionary's Thesaurus for helping me out so the names aren't the same. I still made it me. :) Oh, I'm going to end this story after Albel's arch because I'm getting married and I don't want my fiancé to know about this weird story lol. (He is very west coast and I am very east coast lol)


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